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From the moment Jenna Maroney (Jane Krakowski) first donned the corn chip-scented fat suit for The Girly Show sketch “Pam: The Overly Confident, Morbidly Obese Woman,” 30 Rock established itself as the Mecca of fictional TV series and movies that will tragically never grace the airwaves and silver screens of the real world. Creator Tina Fey’s experience as head writer of SNL may have been the genesis for the series’ central variety show, which was re-branded to TGS With Tracy Jordan, but 30 Rock pulled inspiration from all over the film and television landscape to invent its most awe-inspiring fictional content.
Whether it was a sexually inappropriate competition show or family-friendly torture porn, 30 Rock frequently churned out concepts that left the audience wishing that Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin) was a real NBC executive who could deploy his green light with reckless abandon. Here are the wildest fake movies and TV series of the 30 Rock universe, ranked from “what were the writers smoking” to “conceived in a fever dream.”
10 ‘B***h Hunter’
Season 4, Episode 17
NBC–both the real and fictional versions–may have made some poor programming choices over the years, but none were more consequential than the action drama Bitch Hunter. Starring Will Ferrell as the titular Bitch Hunter, the show received so much backlash that NBC was forced to greenlight The Girly Show just to appease scorned feminists. Failing to learn its lesson, NBC scrambled to throw together a Mother’s Day special on TGS after re-airing the series years later.
Tragically, this cinematic masterpiece never aired in its entirety on 30 Rock, though the audience was teased with the harrowing scene of the Bitch Hunter breaking down the door of a women’s restroom with a shotgun. As the unwitting catalyst for TGS‘ place on the NBC lineup, Bitch Hunter will always hold an important place within 30 Rock lore.
9 ‘Homonym’
Season 7, Episode 1
Jack was trying to tank NBC when he greenlit Homonym, a quiz show where contestants had to guess which meaning of a homonym the host was referring to. The answer was always “the other one,” eliciting frustration from the contestants and mocking laughter from the savage host. No, he won’t let you see the cards.
Despite Jack’s intention, the show became a massive hit, spawning international versions and the spin-off Celebrity Homonym. The celebrity version became the number 1 show in America and upped the ante in its aggravation. Imagine giving tennis and temper tantrum legend John McEnroe the word “racket,” and telling him that it’s not the item he habitually smashed into the ground. The game show’s accidental success helped convince Jack that he actually had no idea what concepts would resonate with NBC’s audience.
8 ‘MILF Island’
Season 2, Episode 11
The premise of MILF Island was simple enough: 20 MILFs, 50 eighth grade boys, no rules. The real magic was in the execution. Like any great reality competition show, MILF Island featured exotic locations like Erection Cove and had its own catchy elimination slogan–“We no longer want to hit that.”–which would prompt the departing MILF to throw her bikini top into the bonfire.
The competition among the MILFs was stiff; one of their implants exploded, and she didn’t even get off the catapult. But the breakout of the season was Deborah, who had the inspiring backstory of being a struggling actress in LA. While the fake TV shows on 30 Rock were conceived with the assumption that they could never exist in reality, MILF Island fans can get their fix through the very real show MILF Manor.
7 ‘Leap Dave Williams’
Season 6, Episode 9
Since Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) missed out on celebrating Leap Day growing up due to her town’s Amish roots, she had never heard of the Mariana Trench-dwelling Leap Day William, the Santa Claus/Tooth Fairy hybrid who trades children’s tears for candy. She was also unaware of the film Leap Dave Williams, where Jim Carrey played just a regular guy who was forced to assume the role of the holiday’s preeminent figure.
In the movie, Dave unwillingly grew gills, jumped into the ocean, and was arrested by cops who had no faith in his authenticity. But like all Jim Carrey classics, Leap Dave Williams concludes with Dave reconnecting with his son, solving the big case from earlier, and saving Leap Day. The film was so beloved that it spawned a sequel–Leap Dave Williams 2: Leap Baby.
6 ‘The Rural Juror’
Season 1, Episode 10
No one could ever forget you, Rural Juror! The movie with the world’s most incomprehensible title, based on the novel by John Grisham‘s brother Kevin, gave Jenna her opening to outshine Tracy Jordan (Tracy Morgan) as the biggest movie star in the TGS cast. Her performance as Southern lawyer Constance Justice may not have been enough to usurp Tracy’s star power, but it was culturally groundbreaking enough to land Jenna her first guest spot on The View.
While Jenna unfortunately never got to reprise her role in Grisham’s sequel, the equally indecipherable Urban Fervor, the original movie’s theme song made an appearance in the series finale. During the final episode of TGS, Jenna, with an emotional goodbye to the show she always believed herself to be above, tearfully sang, “These were the best days of my flerm.” They sure were. We’ll always be glad we met you, Rural Juror.
5 ‘Tracy Jordan’s Aunt Phatso’s Jack Donaghy’s We At It Again’
Season 7, Episode 6
When Jack learned that there was a villain sharing his name in Tracy’s newest cross-dressing movie, Tracy Jordan’s Aunt Fatso Goes to the Hospital’s Goes to Jail, he endeavored to have every copy of the movie melted down to form a statue of Tracy apologizing to him. Tracy refused and revealed he had already filmed the sequel, Tracy Jordan’s Aunt Phatso’s Jack Donaghy’s We At It Again, over Fourth of July weekend.
Jack threatened to sue Tracy for libel, but Tracy insisted that every villainous act the character committed in the movie was based on something Jack did in real life. Tracy brought receipts for each of Jack’s protests; he did verbally assault an old woman in a wheelchair–Liz Lemon, 20 minutes ago. When Jack thought he had gained the upper hand, Tracy reveals that the profits from the movie would fund an orphanage that would otherwise close down–the only scene in the movie that could actually be considered libelous. Jack realized that Tracy had him cornered, and the chess move convinced him to finally respect Tracy–and those boobies.
4 ‘Take My Hand’
Season 5, Episode 19
What was originally a romantic comedy starring Reese Witherspoon and Patrick Dempsey eventually evolved into a torture horror movie starring Jenna and a drill that once appeared on Home Improvement. When Jack discovered how much money had been lost on Take My Hand, he decided that he would make the film profitable, no matter how much it compromised the creative vision.
By the time Jack and Jenna finished their rewrites, Take My Hand had multiple revenue streams, including sponsorship by Walmart, a tax incentive from the Connecticut Tourism Bureau, and the ability to vote for Everybody Loves Raymond creator Phil Rosenthal via text message. (Vote for what? It doesn’t matter. People will do it.) Most importantly, the newly family-friendly film ended with a positive message: If you’re a woman in Connecticut, Slaughterface will kill you!
3 ‘Kidnapped by Danger’
Season 6, Episode 14
Kidnapped by Danger is a classic love story. Boy meets girl, girl gets kidnapped by Asian dictator. Jack commissioned the TV movie in order to call attention to his wife Avery Jessup’s (Elizabeth Banks) detention in North Korea. While he expected the movie to portray him as a hero, he was upset when Elizabeth “Diablo” Lemon wrote the script a little too realistically by including Jack’s affairs with Avery’s mom Diana (Mary Steenburgen) and high school crush Nancy (Julianne Moore). For her part, Liz inhabited her college alter-ego, “The Blocker,” to set Diana up with the actor playing Jack (Alec’s real brother Billy Baldwin), halting her romance with her son-in-law.
In addition to Baldwin’s Lance Drake Mandrell, the film had an all-star cast including Cynthia Nixon as Nancy and Jenna as Avery. Jenna, who played “Italian Party Whore” in The Amanda Knox Story, won the role by trying to fool Jack into believing Avery had returned, proving herself capable of embodying Avery’s ruthless essence. Some say the movie is still available on Sega Genesis.
2 ‘Hard to Watch: Based on the Novel ‘Stone Cold Bummer’ by Manipulate’
Season 5, Episode 7
Although Tracy was a bona-fide movie star before he ever stepped foot on the TGS set, he didn’t become a respected actor until his leading performance in Hard to Watch: Based on the Novel ‘Stone Cold Bummer’ by Manipulate, based on the movie Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire. In the film, Tracy plays a former all-city running back who failed to escape inner-city poverty, and now only uses a football as a toilet.
Tracy’s performance was so inspiring that it earned him an Oscar, allowing him to complete his EGOT. He ended up regretting the movie, however, when it set higher expectations for him as an actor and role model. The pressure became so unbearable that Tracy ran away to Africa (a warehouse in Queens) to escape it. Funny thing to happen to a guy named Lucky.
1 ‘Queen of Jordan’
Season 5, Episode 17
A reality show so gripping that an entire season should have been greenlit by Bravo, Queen of Jordan followed the antics of Tracy’s wife Angie Jordan (Sherri Shepherd) and her unhinged circle of friends. This Real Housewives-inspired series had everything–a feud between Liz and a baby, the romantic reunion between Frank Rossitano (Judah Friedlander) and his predatory elementary school teacher, Jack singing Princeton’s homoerotic fight song–just to name a few highlights.
But Queen of Jordan wasn’t all chihuahua outfits and throwing wine. The only fictional series to encapsulate two full episodes of 30 Rock contained essential character moments, like Jack kissing Avery’s mom and Angie’s tearful revelation that she couldn’t convince Tracy to return from Africa. It was a show with heart, humor, and ham (people do love the way she says it!); and when Liz responded to Jack’s pitch for the series with, “I would watch that!” she spoke for everyone.
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